Never Trust Cute Things
by Hsumi
Summary: A strange creature shows up at Smash Mansion and develops an unhealthy interest in Roy. Strange things start happening, people are disappearing, losing their temper over trivial things, and acting just plain weird... Rated for language and... other stuff.
1. Chapter 1

(( A/N: A strange creature shows up at Smash Mansion and develops an unhealthy interest in Roy. Strange things start happening; people are disappearing, losing their temper over trivial things, and acting just plain weird…And the very few sane people left are just trying to survive the insanity. Warning! Character deaths and OOC!))

It was a beautiful spring day at Smash Mansion. But that was about to change as a loud explosion echoed throughout the large estate…

"Roy! God dammit, Roy!" A voice rang out from the outer side of the pyro's door. A singed and slightly battered Marth entered through said door, a look of fury on his face. The pyro, known as Roy, looked up from a comic he was reading. The instant he saw Marth, he began laughing hysterically. Marth was not amused.

"How many time have I told you not to leave motion-sensor bombs lying around?" The prince tried to regain his composure and speak calmly, but he was failing miserably.

"Fifty-seven." Roy said quickly.

"Make that fifty-eight. If I run into one more, I swear…" He took a deep breath. "Never mind. Just don't do it again." And with that, he left and slammed the door behind him.

Another explosion rang outside of Roy's door.

"Fifty-nine!"

Marth could be heard loudly shouting obscenities in Japanese.

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Marth stormed loudly into the living room, still spouting Japan's most colorful words. Mewtwo, whom Marth happened to pass on his way to the main room, simply looked at him and shook his head.

Upon entering the main hall, Marth ran a hand through his (singed) blue hair and let out an exasperated sigh. He plopped onto his favorite large blue sofa and began to reach for the television remote when the doorbell rang. After taking a quick look around the large room and seeing no one making a move to answer it, He let out another sigh and got up to answer the door.

When he first opened the door, he didn't see anyone, but a polite cough drew his attention downward to a small… thing. It vaguely resembled a female human child, and was about two feet tall. She had brown hair that reached her waist, and her large eyes were violet. She was barefoot and wearing nothing but a nightgown, and was clutching a teddy bear in her right hand. She was cute, in a creepy sort of way, but Marth had always found disproportionate children creepy.

"Er… can I help you?" He asked cautiously. Tears welled up in the thing's eyes, and she let out a wail.

"I'm… I'm… I'm lost!" She cried, rubbing her oversized eyes with the sleeve of her nightgown. Marth started to panic when she started crying, and he poked his head outside the door and looked around. Seeing no one, he looked at the child-thing again.

"Um, don't you have any parents around, or something?" He asked, close to hysterics. "Where's your mommy?"

The child sniffled, then, taking her arm away from her face, she stared at him with big, watery eyes. "I don't have a mommy. Can I stay here with you?"

This sent Marth's creepiness meter into overdrive, because the instant she looked at him with those eyes, he felt an uncomfortable surge of electricity shoot through him. After glancing back into the room and not seeing either Pikachu or its younger incarnation as the source of the jolt, he shivered. The child had also stopped crying the instant she had looked at him, and was currently pushing past Marth so that she could enter the room.

"Uh…" he stated eloquently before shaking his head and closing the door.

"I'm called Chubi, by the way." The child said, looking up at him. Sometime between five seconds ago and now, her voice had changed from that of a small, innocent child, to the deeper tone of an adult woman.

"I'm… Marth." He said, raising an eyebrow in confusion. He fought back the urge to ask 'what the heck are you,' and instead began walking toward the stairs in an attempt to get as far away as possible from the creepy child.

"Well?" The sound of her voice stopped him in his tracks. He turned around slowly to see Chubi glaring at him.

"Well what?" he managed to choke out.

"Aren't you going to give me a tour? I'm going to be living here, right?" She asked, eyes narrowing.

"Er… no." He said the last word a little quicker than necessary, and ran up the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him.

Chubi stood in the middle of the room, dumbfounded and wide-eyed. She snapped out of her shocked trance when she heard footsteps coming her way.

"Hey little girl, are you lost?"

Chubi grinned widely.

((A/N: This is mainly an experiment, so I'll continue if I get three reviews. Ideas, suggestions, and constructive criticism is all appreciated!))


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow. honestly, I never expected this story to gain as much popularity as it has. Thanks to Psycho Sword Lady, ACT II, Roy-Marth, Royal Fanatic, Xiao-Darkcloud, tikitikirevenge, razzkat, joeb, sdftwerfs, Nintendo Nut1, and Blazing Fool for your kind reviews! This chapter is slightly longer, but still relatively short. I'll try not to lose interest in this story, but it was really hard to get myself to sit down and finish this chapter. Hope you enjoy it!

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"Oi, Marth, look what I found!" Came a voice from outside Marth's door. The voice belonged to Roy. Marth opened his door and was met by a grinning pyro with a demented child-thing latched onto his back. Marth's eyes widened at the sight of Chubi, and he quickly slammed the door.

"Oi, Marth! What's wrong? It's just a little kid. Besides, I think she likes me!" Said Roy cheerfully. Marth cracked the door open slightly.

"That _thing_ isn't human." He hissed. Roy blinked in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't think Marth likes Chubi very much…" Chubi said in her child-like voice, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I think 'Prince Marth' is having PMS…" Roy whispered so that only Chubi could hear. However, either Marth _did_ hear, or he just wanted Roy to take the child-thing away, because not even one second after the words had left the pyro's mouth, the door opened quickly, slamming into Roy's face before closing again.

Roy yelped and broke into a long stream of Japanese expletives, and Chubi broke into a long fit of giggles. Mewtwo, who just happened to be walking by, shook his head in embarrassment.

"I'm not coming out as long as that _thing_ is still out there." Marth yelled through the door.

"Fine!" Roy finally conceded, letting Chubi down. "Go play or something." He said, shooing her away. She frowned, but smiled again when she saw Captain Falcon round the corner at the end of the hall. She laughed and ran after him.

"There, she's gone. Happy? What's with you, anyway? She's just a kid." Roy said, rubbing his nose tenderly. "Jeez… I think you broke my nose…" Marth opened the door a little, and, not seeing Chubi, opened the door completely.

"Get over it, princess." He smirked in response to Roy's comment about his nose. "That child-thing is _evil_. I got a really bad feeling from it when I let it in." He looked around. "Speaking of which… where did it go?" He asked, suddenly feeling much more uncomfortable.

"I don't know, I just told her to go play." Roy replied, still tending to his injured nose.

"Great…"

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That night, everyone was seated around the dinner table, with the exception of Captain Falcon and Mewtwo. Chubi was once again latched to Roy's arm, humming to herself lightly. Nobody even seemed to notice the absence on the racer, but that might have been partially due to the fact that many of them tried to ignore him anyway. Marth kept glancing at Chubi periodically from the other end of the table, still extremely suspicious of the bizarre child-thing.

"Ahem!" Everyone's attention suddenly turned to Mario, who stood up and held up a glass. "For those-a who don't-a know yet, there's-a new person going to be-a living here." He pointed the glass at Chubi, who smiled widely and began giggling. There were a few whispers around the table, and a few 'aww, she's so cute!'s from some of the girls.

"She's evil." Suddenly, the room was silent. All heads turned to the source of the voice, standing in the corner of the room. There stood Mewtwo, arms crossed, eyes trained on Chubi. Marth gaped at the Pokemon. Someone actually saw it besides him! "That's what Marth thinks." The psychic added. Marth let out an exasperated sigh. He didn't see it, he just read his mind and repeated what he was thinking.

A low murmur of voices buzzed over the table, and Chubi glared at Marth, violet eyes narrowed.

"_Although, I can't say I totally disagree with you."_ Mewtwo commented telepathically to Marth, so none of the others could hear. "_There is definitely something… unusual about that child."_

"_But no one believes that! They all think she's the sweetest thing since Electro-Rat over there."_ Marth thought, jabbing his thumb in the direction of Pikachu, knowing that the hyperintelligent psychic Mewtwo would pick up on this message.

"Hey! Has anyone seen Captain Falcon?" Fox suddenly asked, catching the attention of the table.

Silence reigned supreme over the room as the inhabitants took in the absence of the racer. Indeed, the loud, obnoxious human was missing, which, considering there was food readily available, was cause for alarm.

"He probably got lost. He's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed." Ganondorf scoffed, then took a swig of whatever it was in his glass.

"Neither are you." Link commented under his breath, avoiding eye contact with his enemy, lest his corneas spontaneously combust.

"You want to say that to my face, you poncy, skirt-wearing fairy?" Ganon bellowed, shooting up from his chair.

"You aren't so smart yourself, fatso! And it's a tunic!" The Hero of Time stood up as well, drawing the Master Sword in the process. Link the younger buried his face in his hands, embarrassed at his older incarnation.

This was also a normal occurrence, and thus, the table ignored the ensuing fight between the two enemies, which quickly degenerated into a fistfight due to Mewtwo's disarming Link and using Disable on Ganondorf's magic so they wouldn't kill each other. Chubi giggled merrily in delight at the humorous scene.

Marth massaged his temples wondering for the hundredth time that week why he lived in the mansion. Oh yeah, free room and board. Damn. He stood without even touching his meal and left the table, passing Mewtwo on his way out.

"Don't let your guard down." He whispered as he passed the psychic Pokemon. The humanoid cat watched him out of the corner of his eye.

"_I never planned to."_ He added, slightly reassuring the prince.

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Marth stepped into his room, more tired than he felt he should have been. His life had suddenly become more chaotic than normal, what with everyone except Mewtwo thinking he was loony for being suspicious of the 'adorable little angel who couldn't possibly do anything wrong.'

Massaging his temples, he walked over to the closet to look for something suitable to sleep in, and stopped dead in his tracks. There was an unmistakable odor coming from behind the door. It smelled like one of Donkey Kong's attempts to cook, in other words, it smelled like something _dead_.

Marth cautiously grasped the doorknob, morbid curiosity tinted with fear welled up in the pit of his stomach, urging him on. He twisted the knob slowly, and the door flew open from the weight of something leaning against it.

Out fell the mangled body of Captain Falcon, stinking of decay and blood.

Marth screamed.

A/N: Ooh! Cliffhanger!


	3. Chapter 3

((A/N: OMG! This story isn't dead! I'm as shocked as you are. Less funny in this chapter, more story.))

He was surrounded by a field of wildflowers. Butterflies fluttered about, and bunnies hopped by him, as if asking him to join them in play. He had never felt so peaceful in his life. The sky was blue, the air was crisp and fresh, and hummingbirds flew around him, twittering happily.

Caught in the moment, he bent down to smell an abnormally large, beautiful flower. It smelled like honey, but it was tinted with something underneath. The underlying odor began to get stronger until it overpowered the honey scent, and in an instant, he realized what the smell was.

Death.

A feminine scream rang out in the peaceful meadow, transforming it into a barren wasteland. A childlike giggle sounded behind him, and he whirled around to see an evil child-thing, grinning psychotically and laughing.

"Wake up!"

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"Wake up!"

Marth's eyes slowly began to open, the smell of death still lingering in his nose. The sight that greeted him when he did, however, was orange, furry and had big, pointed ears.

"What have I been drinking? My head hurts and I'm seeing a giant cat." Marth managed to say, hauling himself into a sitting position. He took a second look at the furry being and blinked. "Never mind, it's just Fox."

"We heard you scream and some of us came to check it out. We found you passed out in here." Fox said, standing up and waving his hand in front of his face. "It smells like DK tried to cook in here, are you okay?"

Marth blinked, then stood up as well, looking at his closet. It was open, but there was no mangled and bloody body in it anymore. In fact, it was completely clean. Not a drop of blood anywhere.

"…Uh…" He started, unsure if he was going crazy or not. "Was I the only one in here when you got here?"

Fox shook his head. "Mewtwo was here. He was staring at your closet and muttering something.

"I saw… Captain Falcon." Marth said, images flashing through his head.

"You did? Where was he?" Fox asked curiously. Marth pointed at the open closet, his eyes wide.

"He was dead. His body fell out of there." He said in barely more than a whisper. Fox stared at him skeptically.

"You sure you're okay? Maybe you need a day off." He suggested. Marth nodded in agreement, his eyes preoccupied with scanning the closet, trying to find even a minute bit of evidence to suggest a body had been stuffed in it.

"Yeah… Hey, do you know where Mewtwo went? I need to talk to him." He asked in a far-away voice.

Fox nodded. "He said something about checking out the training arena. He's probably still there.

"Right. Thanks." He said in response, then pushed past the anthropomorphic fox and exited via the door.

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"I'm just saying that it's a bit strange, that's all."

The sound of Zelda's voice caught Marth's ear as he passed a hallway on his way to the training arena. Stopping, he peered around the corner to see said princess conversing with Samus (who, currently, wasn't wearing her armor, so it took a few seconds before Marth figured out who the strange blonde woman in the blue spandex was).

"I agree. Although it seems like no one else has noticed it. It _is_ a bit odd." Said Samus, crossing her arms across her chest in a contemplative way.

"That child… It's not normal for a girl of that age to change like that…" Zelda observed.

"_I'm not eavesdropping."_ Marth told himself. "_I'm not eavesdropping. I'm investigating…"_

"Keep an eye out, then. That child may not be human." Samus said, wrapping up the conversation. And with that, they set off in opposite directions down the hall. Marth froze where he stood as Samus passed him, hoping he wouldn't be caught eavesdropping.

"Hey," She said suddenly, stopping in her tracks, but facing away from him. Marth felt his body tense up as she addressed him. "I assume you heard that." She said, finally turning to face him. He nodded timidly, swallowing. "Keep your eyes open. It seems Mewtwo's comment at dinner may not be entirely false." And with that sage advice, she continued down the hall.

Inwardly, Marth felt relieved that he and Mewtwo weren't alone anymore, though Samus _did_ scare the crap out of him sometimes.

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"This game's winner is… Kirby!" Came the sound of the electronic announcer throughout the training arena, as said pink fluff ball hopped up and down atop Ness's unconscious body with a happy "Pwaiou!". A few seconds later, the kid woke up and, rubbing his sores, trudged out of the arena with Kirby bouncing along happily behind him.

"Hey Marth…" Ness said unenthusiastically as he passed the swordsman on his way out.

"Hey," Marth replied nonchalantly as he entered the dome, scanning the area.

At first glance, the dome seemed empty, but upon closer inspection, a large purple catlike being could just barely be seen near the back.

"Oi, Mewtwo!" Marth called to the Pokemon, stepping his pace up to a trot. "I have a question about-"

_"Falcon's body disappearing, I know."_ Mewtwo finished for him, aware that the arena was completely empty now save for the two of them. _"Yes, I did that. No need to thank me."_

Marth stopped, and closed his mouth, pouting a bit due to not being able to finish his sentence. "Thank you?" he asked, a bit confused by the Pokemon's words.

_"Don't you think it would seem just a bit suspicious, finding Captain Falcon's body mangled in your closet? I did you a favor and aimed the blame away from your direction."_ He explained, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Morbidly curious, Marth opened his mouth to speak again. "Uh… if you don't mind me asking… What did you do with it? And the blood?"

Mewtwo cast him a sly look. _"Let's just say I have some experience in hiding bodies, and leave it at that, shall we?"_ A look of horror crossed Marth's face, and Mewtwo couldn't help but laugh. _"Relax, that's all behind me."_ Relief washed over Marth, and he let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

"So," the swordsman began, once he regained his composure. "I heard Zelda and Samus talking in the hallway on my way down here. They seem to be suspicious of Chubi as well."

Mewtwo raised an eyebrow. _"Really?"_ He asked in almost a sarcastic tone.

"Yeah, but it's the strangest thing, they said something about her… changing somehow." Marth continued.

_"Changing how?"_ the psychic Pokemon prodded, genuinely curious. Marth shook his head.

"I don't know. They didn't say, and I haven't run into the little monster since dinner." He shrugged, but inwardly added: "Thank god."

_"Hmm…"_ Was all Mewtwo said as he floated passed Marth toward the direction of the exit. Marth started to follow him, but the Pokemon stopped, causing the swordsman to catch his balance at the abrupt halt.

"What is it?" He asked.

"…" Mewtwo paused for a second, before speaking again. _"Try to get some sleep. It's late. I'll look into this whole 'Chubi' business in the meanwhile."_ He said, then continued floating out of the arena, leaving Marth with a shocked expression.

"Sleep? SLEEP?! How am I supposed to sleep with that… that THING on the loose?" He shouted after the Pokemon's retreating form, earning nothing more than a shrug from the psychic before he disappeared around the corner. "GRAAAH!" He screamed in frustration, tearing at his hair and stomping out of the dome.

"WHOAH!" Came someone's voice as Marth plowed into them, knocking them both over.

"Hey, who's—oh, it's just Roy." Marth groaned, standing up and dusting himself off. "Watch where you're go—" He started to say, but cut off his own words when he looked back at Roy. Or rather, the girl standing next to Roy, giggling.

It was unmistakably Chubi, but she was about a foot taller, her head seemed smaller, and slightly less disproportionate, and her hair was longer.

"Hi, there." She grinned in a manner that could only be described as pure evil, and waved at Marth. Even her teddy bear looked like it was ready to commit murder.

((A/N: And the plot thickens like oatmeal! Hopefully the next chapter won't take another year.))


End file.
